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The Thoughts You Should Leave Unsaid
Is honesty truly always the best policy? Maybe not.
We promote honesty as a virtue and something everyone should engage in at all times. We say honesty is the best policy. We claim that truth is power and that everyone deserves to know the truth always.
While I do agree honesty is a virtue and one that we should engage in whenever possible, I also believe that there are some things that are better left unsaid.
But what are those things?
Demeaning thoughts
Someone has gained weight. They’re lazy. They’re stupid.
You could have a ton of demeaning or insulting thoughts about someone, but that doesn’t mean they need to hear them. Not one. Not a dozen. None of them.
Once you tell someone something demeaning or insulting, you can’t take it back. Even if you tell them later that you didn’t really mean it, that it was just said in the heat of an argument, they’ll forever remember that you once said that horrible thing about them.
So keep demeaning thoughts to yourself.
And if you feel it is something that needs to be said? Say, for example, that their weight gain is harming their health?
If you feel it absolutely needs to be said, take the time to sit with it and find a way to say it that is less demeaning and hurtful. And if you can’t, consider finding another way to bring it to their attention — having a doctor tell them, for example.
Secrets about other people
You’re talking to a friend and she mentions a mutual friend that is cheating on their spouse. You remember that another mutual friend told you that her spouse cheated on her — but she asked you to keep it a secret.
You might be tempted to share this secret with the friend you’re talking to right now. You might be tempted to share it with your own partner during a date night.
But secrets that other people tell you should always stay with you. You should…
