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The Divorce Advice I’d Give My Best Friend
There’s plenty of advice about divorce out there but this is what I’d tell someone I loved.
Though the decision was made on a hot June evening a few years in, I wrestled with the idea of divorcing my ex from about six or seven months into the marriage. We had a child, then we had another one on the way. He would always promise things would get better and I’d want to believe him so badly.
I felt like I had no resources to leave — no money, nowhere to go, no one to help me get through it. So I stayed a lot longer than I should have.
But some people also give up more quickly than they should, allowing an otherwise good marriage to fall apart because of one thing they could overcome if they’d been willing to put in a little more work.
The problem is because none of us are inside another couple’s marriage, when a friend comes to us for advice, it can be hard to know what to say. We only get their side of what’s happened, not their partner’s. And while we might take one action and it would be right for us, it might not be right for our friend.
Based on my own experience with divorce, this is the advice I’d give my best friend if she came to me and said she was considering divorce. I think it strikes the best balance…
