The Art of Moving On: Why Talking About Exes and Competition in Relationships is a Dangerous Game
The problem is bigger than just living in your past.
A young, married mother I know frequently mentions to both her husband and other people the firefighter that was her husband’s competition when they first met. Another young man that I know lists off each ex-girlfriend he has and why they broke up. Several dates I’ve gone on have included the question, “So, tell me about your past relationships?”
But I’m not the one asking the question. And I don’t like answering it, either. Nor do I enjoy talking about the other men I’m seeing with the man I’m currently on a date with — or the other men I dated before committing to whomever my current partner is.
Here’s why.
The Exes Are a Roadmap to Disaster
Talking about exes is giving your partner or date a roadmap to destroy you. Whether you tell them all the wonderful things about an ex as something to live up to or all the horrible things the ex did as an explanation for the breakup, you’ve plotting the path for a relationship that doesn’t end well.
Consider this:
- You tell them the wonderful stuff: Now they know what you love…
