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Single Parenting: 7 Expectations vs. Reality
When you first become a single parent, your expectations might not match the reality of the situation.
Over my 16 years as a single parent, I’ve learned a lot. In particular, I’ve learned that we often have expectations of what single parenting will be like — and that those expectations are often nothing like the reality.
I’m not sure where these expectations come from. But I do know that when we hold ourselves too rigidly to them, we’re not going to be the kind of parent we really want to be. We won’t give our kids the parenting they need and deserve.
So let’s look at some single parenting expectations and put them into perspective with their realities.
You’ll create & stick to a routine or schedule
This expectation is actually pretty easy to understand. As one-half of a parenting team and a married couple, we typically were able to create and stick to routines and schedules. We had a partner to help us with getting dinner on the table when we were running late from soccer practice or to take one kid to ballet while we took the other to karate.
So of course we think we’ll just adjust to account for being solo now and be fine. Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.
The reality: You can create a routine. You can plan a schedule. And you might be able to stick to it for a while. Maybe even more often than not. But you’ll also need to recognize that life is going to take over. Things are going to come up, whether it’s work, kids, or something else, that will throw your routine and/or schedule off.
You are a single parent now. You are trying to do a two-person job on your own. Just like you wouldn’t be able to perfectly do your job and your co-worker’s, you aren’t going to parent perfectly. Accept that there will be days, weeks, perhaps even months or years where any semblance of a routine or schedule will go out the window and you’ll live each day flying by the seat of your pants and hoping like hell nothing important gets left behind or forgotten.
