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Seeking Comfort in the Familiar
Whether it’s rekindling an old flame or a pattern of similar partners, sometimes we just want what we’ve always had
There was a point in my life where, when a relationship ended, I would scroll through a mental contact list of ex-boyfriends. Which ones might be single at the moment? Which ones could I see myself tolerating for a while? Which ones did I miss and wondered if we might still have a chance at making things work?
Those were the questions being answered but it was subconsciously. Consciously, I was convincing myself that whichever ex was chosen from the list was someone I still loved, someone that I was meant to be with, and all I was really doing was giving love a second chance to work its magic.
The thing was, I never got back together with these exes on a long-term basis. If anything, there might be a short-lived friends with benefits type relationship just to get across the bridge from recently single to ready to mingle again. Basically, I didn’t want to be alone and ex-boyfriends were familiar territory that didn’t require much of an emotional investment from me.
When I finally started doing the work I needed to do on myself, I stopped this pattern of trying to go back to familiar, yet failed, relationships. I also found…
