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Remember the Goal of Parenting

If you do it right, you’ll work yourself out of a job

Wendy Miller
7 min readOct 20, 2020
Image by: Monkey Business Images

My younger son turned 17 a couple of weeks ago. Several years ago, we pierced his ear and last year for his birthday, he got a lip piercing. So it was no surprise this year when he requested three additional piercings for his birthday: conch, another lip, and septum.

What was a surprise to me was my resistance to his request. He already had two piercings, so why was my first urge a desire to say no? I didn’t say no right away but I didn’t say yes either. I was really conflicted.

Finally it hit me. My resistance wasn’t about the number of piercings he wanted. It was about the kind.

I have each ear pierced twice and once upon a time, I had a navel piercing. But that has always been the limits of my desires to put holes in my body. I’m more of a tattoo girl, with three scattered over my body.

Piercing my conch or my septum has never appealed to me. I’ve considered the idea of a lip piercing before but it just doesn’t feel good to me.

Who am I to decide what he likes?

And this is where the parenting gig gets really hard. Because this is where I had to separate my own likes and dislikes from being a good parent.

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Wendy Miller
Wendy Miller

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