My Struggles in Overcoming Infidelity

It’s not as simple as getting the image out of your head

Image Source: fizkes via Getty Images Pro

Feeling like I wasn’t enough

I never really knew the women he cheated on me with. What I did know was that none of them were drop-dead, irresistibly gorgeous. I’m not going to insult them and say they were less attractive than me, because I think attractiveness is a unique thing. But it would have been easier to understand (still inexcusable, of course) if my ex had cheated with a woman who looked like Angelina Jolie or had the personality of Jennifer Aniston mixed with Mother Teresa — or both.

Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

Humiliation

Infidelity is a strange beast. When you’re the innocent spouse, you’ve done nothing wrong and yet the humiliation runs as deep as if you showed up to take the SAT naked while picking your nose after not showering for a month.

Blatant disregard for me

Cheating, to me, shows a complete lack of respect for the person you cheat on. I felt my ex-husband showed a blatant disregard for me when he cheated. And that was infuriating.

Concern about STIs

I will never forget being six months pregnant and asking my OB to test me for everything. It was embarrassing, uncomfortable, and singlehandedly ruined what should have been a beautiful pregnancy experience.

Intense loss

Infidelity causes so many losses. The loss of trust. The loss of dreams. The loss of connection. The loss of hope.

Photo by ian dooley on Unsplash

Feeling like I’d never get over it

This is a feeling that everyone feels when they first find out their partner has cheated. They immediately think they’ll never get over it because the pain is so intense in that moment. For me, though, the feeling was much stronger. Even in that first moment when I found out about the first affair, it was just… different for me.

You can’t fix what someone continues to break

Infidelity can be overcome. I know plenty of couples who have done it. But the key is that the infidelity has to stop first.

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https://cdn-images-1.medium.com/max/800/1*86RpkwIjuGv5xX787MCpPw.png

Single Mom Coach | Meditation Teacher | Relationship Writer | www.mindfulsinglemom.com | Newsletter: http://mindfulsinglemom.com/subscribe

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