Moving Into a New Life Post-Divorce

When you’re starting over after a divorce, you need to get rid of all the labels.

Image Sources: Woman Photo by Asa Dugger from Pexels, Labels Image by Annalise Batista from Pixabay

There are several labels I can apply to myself.

I’m a mom. An ex-wife. A daughter. A granddaughter. A friend. A writer. A meditation teacher.

But all of those labels describe me in relation to another person. They describe what I can do for other people or how close or distant I am from another person. They don’t describe me, the woman I am and was before I became a mom, got married, or decided to become a meditation teacher. They don’t describe the woman I am that has nothing to do with the family I was born into or friends I keep.

And yet those labels are the ones that I default to if I’m introducing myself to someone. Your labels might be different, but you probably do the same thing: default to introducing yourself with those labels that define you in relation to another rather than who you really are.

It often becomes quite obvious that we’re doing this after a divorce. When we have to correct ourselves mid-word from wife to ex-wife or husband to ex-husband. Or when we have to change our last name on a dozen different documents and accounts and in each case, explain the reason why. Or when we’re sitting alone on a couch in a new place, staring…