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Letting Go of the Relationship That Never Was
How do you get over someone who was never yours in the first place?
Breakups are hard. And it makes sense that a breakup would be difficult. You’ve built a life with someone, whether you live together or not, and you have a lot of memories with them. Future plans that will change dramatically or never come to fruition at all.
But what about the breakup that isn’t actually a breakup? What do you do when you wanted to date someone, had a whole fantasy about what it would be like, only to have that fantasy dashed against the rocks of reality?
Maybe you found out they’re already in a relationship. Maybe you asked them out only to be shot down. Maybe you found out they’re gay/straight (depending on your own orientation). Or maybe you learned they’re looking for a completely different future than what you want.
However it came about, getting over someone you never actually dated can feel as if it’s just as hard as getting over someone you did date. And it feels silly because you never had anything real with this person.
The problem here is that when we like someone, we build a whole fantasy about them in our heads. We think we know them, or we fill in everything we don’t know with what we’d like, and create a whole…
