Let’s Get Serious: 14 Questions to Ask Before You Define the Relationship
You might think “What are we?” is the most important question for defining your relationship. But is it?
We all have our own expectations, ideas, theories and fantasies about relationships and how they should look, feel, and progress. That’s what makes defining the relationship so important. If we never have that talk, we can end up having two different relationships: the one we think we’re having, and the one our partner thinks we’re having.
We’ve come to place so much importance on defining the relationship, though, that sometimes we leap ahead. We start asking “What are we?” or “Are we exclusive?” before we even know for sure that we even want a relationship with this person. We ask before we know them well enough to know. We ask because defining the relationship gives us a sense of security — but that security might not be ours to have. Not yet, anyway.
When you start thinking that you might be ready to bring up the status of your relationship with someone you’re dating, it’s seems logical to start with “Where is this going?” But I think there are other questions, more important ones, that should be asked before that. Sometimes, the answers to one or more of those questions might show you that you…
