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Let’s Change the Rules: How to Date Outside Your Type
If all your relationships have felt like total failures, it might be time to go against what you think you want
When I was engaging in my unhealthy, unhappy, and sometimes even abusive relationships, they all had something in common. For each one, there was this instant, almost combustible chemistry between my partner and myself. Call it sexual attraction, call it heavy infatuation, call it love at first sight — whatever you call it, it was this immediate attraction that felt undeniable.
So when I decided it was time to figure out what my problem was, heal from the past, and put myself in a better position to truly find the love I wanted, that instant chemistry stuck out to me. At first glance, that kind of instant chemistry seems like exactly what you’d want. But what if it was the whole problem, I wondered.
What if, in reality, that instant chemistry was part of the problem? What if it was blinding me to all the problems that would ultimately break us up? What if I stopped leaping to date guys I felt an instant, almost insatiable attraction to and instead started dating men that I had common interests with but didn’t feel that same instant mindblowing attraction to?
