Lessons Learned In 40 Years

I turned 40 in January. For a long time, I dreaded it. I did not want to turn 40. Every time my ex-boyfriend teased me about it, or my kids mentioned it, I would groan and roll my eyes. I was not looking forward to it.

But then a few weeks ago, it all changed. I just “settled” into the idea of turning 40. It began to feel good. Right. Comfortable. I now feel at peace with being 40. Proud, even.

And the difference, I realized, is that I had been looking at turning 40 as a bad thing. I saw it as a sign of aging, as a sign that I’m no longer as youthful as I once was. I saw it as an indication that I’m edging ever closer to gray hair, menopause, maybe arthritis or heart trouble or merely living alone in a house in my old age.

The change came when I had a shift in perspective and instead saw it as a “finish line.” I began to think about all the things I’ve done, and seen, and survived until now. I realized that turning 40 was not a sign that I was getting old, but a sign that I have lived, learned, and thrived.

So, what have I learned in 40 years on this planet?

Staying in shitty relationships is never worth it

I’m going to share a little secret with you that I’ve never shared with anyone else: when I married my ex-husband, I knew before the wedding that we would end up divorced. I knew it the same way you know you’re burning dinner by the smell. And yet I married him anyway, because I thought maybe things…