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It’s Your Fault They’re Treating You Like Crap

Why you need to quit letting positivity and compassion overrule your intuition

Wendy Miller
6 min readSep 5, 2020
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

TThere’s a lot of talk these days about safe spaces, holding space, showing compassion and just generally being a loving, kind, considerate person who tries not to hurt other people. But where is the line between being someone who doesn’t hurt others and being someone who lets others hurt them?

We do need to be kind, loving, considerate and compassionate. We need to look at our own actions and hold ourselves accountable for the things we do (or don’t do) that create problems and conflict in our life and with other people.

But there is a line between owning our actions and allowing others to convince us that their behaviors are also our fault.

And I have two specific instances to share with you. If you hear either of these things, think very carefully before you accept the blame on yourself.

If they’re lying to you, it’s because you didn’t create a safe space for vulnerability and honesty

I remember talking to a friend once about a romantic partner who had been caught lying to me. When I told her about his lies, she told me, “If he lied to you, it…

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Wendy Miller
Wendy Miller

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