I was raised by my parents to believe that whoever asks for the date pays for the date. I’ve gone on several dates where I asked him out and he still insisted on paying.

I’ve come to pay attention to this not to judge a man as a “gentleman” or a “coward,” but whether he’s investing in me. In my past, I’ve often settled for men who only stayed because I made it easy for them. One way it was made easy for them was that I paid for things. While I don’t expect a man to pay for me, I also expect that he should be able to pay for himself. Whether he pays completely or offers to split, I want to know that he’s not going to expect me to foot the bill for our relationship. I want to know that he’s not only willing, but able, to invest in the possible relationship. By paying or offering to split, he’s showing me that he’s genuinely interested in me and willing to invest time and money into nurturing what we have.

And if it’s a first date that won’t lead to a second? Then it shows me that he respects me enough to not stick me with the whole bill just because he doesn’t want to see me again. I, of course, would offer to split the bill, if I were the one to decide there wouldn’t be a second date.