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How Long Has It Been Since Your Last Relationship?

It’s a common question but do you really need to answer it?

Wendy Miller
8 min readAug 2, 2020
Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

It’s a question I’ve asked on first dates and one I’ve been asked on first dates. It’s a question that comes from well-meaning relatives and friends, nosey neighbors, and shocked strangers. When you tell people you’re single, or that you broke up with someone, or that it’s been a while since you’re last relationship, it’s a question that often seems to spill from their lips like water from an overturned glass.

How long has it been?

It may be genuine concern, a loved one who just wants you to be happy and wonders if you’ve given up on love. It might be sincere curiosity, a date who worries maybe you’re antisocial and perhaps not good with relationships. It might be just a desire to hear something juicy they can gossip about.

All too often, we answer the question without even thinking. It doesn’t seem like that big a deal. It’s just a question. It’s answer with a fact, a number. It’s been six months. A year. Eight years. Three days. Five hours.

But here’s the real question: Does it matter?

Does it matter how long it’s been since your last relationship?

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Wendy Miller
Wendy Miller

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