How Dating in My 40s is Different Than Dating in My 20s

It’s not as simple as picking up where you left off

Wendy Miller


Image Source: himanshu gunarathna from Pixabay

DDating can be fun regardless of your age. But when I look back on dating when I was in my twenties compared to dating now when I’m 41, there are some major differences.

These differences come from many things. Some of it is simply being older. With experience comes wisdom, as they say, and that wisdom puts a different color on dating.

But it can also be because of lessons you’ve learned from being married and then divorced. It can be because your perspective on what you want from a relationship, or whether you even want a relationship at all, has changed.

So what are the differences I’ve noticed? There are a lot of them and they’re not all bad.

I’m more comfortable declining a date

Whether it’s a guy asking me out for the first time or one hoping for a second or third date, I am much more comfortable declining now that I’m older.

When I was in my twenties, saying no to a date felt rude. Even if I didn’t like the guy, it felt like I was being mean to turn him down for a date.

On top of that, I didn’t really know yet what I wanted from a relationship or a partner. So I was open to dating pretty much anyone because I figured anyone could be “the one.”

In my 40s, I know what I want from a relationship and a partner. And if I know a man doesn’t match up, I decline. If I’m not feeling it, whether it’s a lack of physical attraction or something else, I decline. And I feel no guilt.

In fact, the way I see it, I’m doing us both a favor. Why should either of us waste our time if one of us isn’t truly interested?

Photo by Alvaro Reyes on Unsplash

My kids are always part of the picture

My kids are older. I have a 19-year-old who still lives at home and a 16-year-old. They’ll both soon be on their own, but they’ll always be a big part of my life. So while I may not be looking for someone who would…