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Holidays After Loss
How a cookie symbolized my grief
My grandmother passed away November 17, 2019. It was not an unexpected lost. She was in her late 80s, had a plethora of health problems, and had been telling us for months — years — that she was ready to die. But it was a bit unexpected as I was told the night before she would be gone within the next couple of weeks and then the next morning, she was already gone.
There are many things I think of when I think of my grandmother.
I think of how supportive she always was about my dreams. I think of how excited she was when I published my three novels. I think of how she was always loving but very firm, never letting people get away with their bullshit.
But around this time of year, what I think of when I think of my grandmother is her Christmas cookies.
For as long as I could remember, she always baked these delicious Christmas sugar cookies. They came in different holiday shapes with icing and decorations. And they were always huge and delicious.
She gave me the recipe years ago when I wanted to bake them for my then 5-year-old oldest son’s class party. It was a hilarious disaster that I eventually managed to master.
