Going Through a Divorce? 6 Requests for Meddling Family Members

If you know they meddle, be proactive and make these requests before they start

Wendy Miller
5 min readAug 31, 2021


Photo by The Everett Collection

Divorce is complicated enough. You and your soon-to-be ex are struggling with the end of what you hoped would be a lifelong love, trying to balance your own needs and wants with what’s best for your kids, and in some cases, unable to get along in even the simplest of ways.

Divorce is a difficult process for everyone who is involved, but meddling family members can make it more complicated. This type of interference can make the process even more stressful and difficult. Especially when those meddling family members have no legitimate reason to be involved.

If you’re dealing with meddling family members during your divorce, consider asking — or requiring — that they refrain from these activities:

Choosing sides

One of the most common ways for family members to meddle in a divorce is to choose sides. You may want to ask your family not to do this because of the consequences.

Family members who choose sides in a divorce actually make the process more difficult. They can prevent or delay conflict resolution and keep the couple from reaching a settlement. They choose your side and want you to “stick it” to your ex or “take them for all they’re worth.” But that’s not what’s best for you, your kids, or your ex.

While it may seem like a supportive gesture to choose sides, instead suggest your family members offer their support by simply loving you, your children, and as much as possible, your ex. Encourage family to be nice and kind to your ex, regardless of their feelings toward the person you once loved so much.

Giving advice

Family members often feel they can help by sharing advice. However, unless they are lawyers or therapists, their advice may be incorrect. The wrong advice can create serious legal issues in a divorce.

Meddling family members can create issues that can hurt your divorce case and have lasting consequences. Every divorce is unique, no matter how similar they may look from the outside. What Aunt Ida or your brother did or got in…



Wendy Miller