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Get Out of Your Own Way: Putting an End to Self-Sabotaging Behavior

If you’re tired of setting yourself up for failure, maybe these tips will help

Wendy Miller
6 min readMar 31, 2021
Photo by: Sergei Chuyko via Getty Images

Have you ever wanted something and didn’t get it because of something you did? Maybe you wanted to date someone you were very attracted to but then you lied to them about dating someone else? Or you really wanted a job but told them you expected a salary that was way above average — despite knowing they’d decline? Or you waited so long to start a project that you knew you couldn’t finish it in time, so you just didn’t even bother to start it?

Self-sabotage could be defined as deciding you want something and then making sure it doesn’t happen. Have you ever found yourself close to achieving a goal, only to throw it all away at the last moment? Maybe you didn’t even wait until you were close to achieving it. Maybe you sabotaged yourself early in the process — or before you even started the process at all. Did you look back later and kick yourself for being so foolish? Most of us have.

Why did you do this? There are several possible explanations, ranging from a need to control the situation to feeling unworthy. But regardless of the cause, the solutions are similar.

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Wendy Miller
Wendy Miller

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