Becoming an Instant Grandma- The Honest Truths

Becoming a grandmother overnight is a unique experience

Wendy Miller
6 min readSep 9, 2022


Photo: Gustavo Fring via Pexels

My oldest son is 21 years old, engaged to be married in December, and is about to have his first child with his fiancée. Or rather, his first biological child. My future daughter-in-law has a beautiful 4-year-old daughter from her first marriage and my son has taken on the role of father wholeheartedly and without looking back.

This, of course, makes me a grandmother. And while I adore my new granddaughter, I discovered some things about becoming a grandparent in this way that I thought might be useful for anyone else who becomes an instant grandparent.

It’s Weird to Be Called Grandma Suddenly

This is probably the hardest and weirdest part of becoming an instant grandparent: suddenly being called Grandma.

When I became a mom, I had nine months to adjust to the idea that I was becoming a mom. Then I had several months after my son was born before he said the word, mama. There was plenty of time to adjust gradually to my new identity.

But once my son and his fiancée decided to get married, suddenly I was Grandma. In an instant, I had an adorable little girl calling me Grandma. And it’s a little weird.

Don’t get me wrong — I love my granddaughter. And I love being called Grandma.

But unlike becoming a mom — or even the process of waiting for my future daughter-in-law to give birth to this baby — there was no time to ease into my new identity. No time to adjust to the fact that I was about to become a grandmother.

So sometimes, when I hear the name Grandma, I feel like she’s talking to someone else.

Being a Grandparent is Not One-Dimensional Like I Thought

I loved my grandparents dearly. My grandmother passed away three years ago, the last of my living grandparents, and I still sometimes struggle with the loss. For as long as I can remember, my grandparents were old, gray, retired, and… well, to be honest, kinda boring.

Don’t get me wrong; they were fun grandparents. I remember them taking a couple of my cousins and…



Wendy Miller