Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

We’re often crueler to ourselves than anyone else is to us

Photo by: mihailomilovanovic via Getty Images Signature

• The Wrong Trust

Do you tend to trust the opinions and ideas of others more than you trust your own? If so, it’s a sign that you’re your own worst enemy. Rather than thinking (or standing up) for yourself, you just nod along. It’s important that you learn to trust your instincts. You shouldn’t fall in line with the opinions of others just because they seem confident or forceful. You have your own thoughts.

• The Wrong Values

Are you someone who places more value on the comfort of others? You don’t want to speak your mind because you’re afraid of alienating others. You hold back from getting things off your chest because you don’t want to upset others. You’re making yourself anxious by valuing others over yourself. You can speak your mind constructively, but it may require practice. However, your inability to do this is setting you up as your own worst enemy.

Photo by Stas Svechnikov on Unsplash

• Unrealistic Demands

Do you place unrealistic demands on yourself? Do you fall flat on your face and wonder why you keep failing? The two are related and your inability to recognize this is holding you back. You don’t need to guilt and shame yourself for failing to meet impossible standards. Go easy on yourself.

• Identifying With Your Thoughts

Do you identify with your own thoughts and feelings? Do you fall into the trap of buying into the role(s) you are expected to play in the lives of others? You identify with these temporary things and you overlook the core of who you are as a person. You can’t identify with a feeling, they’re temporary. You can’t identify with how others view you. Whom do you believe you are?

• Waiting for a Savior

Are you waiting for someone else to swoop in and save you? This often manifests in endless complaints with no clear want or desire to make a positive change. Why find a solution when you can loudly suffer and draw attention to your victimhood? It might not be your fault per-say, but it is your problem. Only you have the power to make the necessary changes to take control of a situation.

• No Acceptance

Do you try to police yourself into doing, acting and being better? Do you tell yourself this is a positive thing to do and it’s only about improving yourself? While there is nothing wrong with progress, it’s equally as important to accept yourself as you are. That doesn’t mean that you’re giving up on growth. Policing yourself will only create fear and while your intention may be different, the manifestation is inherently negative.

• Self-Sabotage

Sometimes we self-sabotage ourselves because the opposite forces us to focus on something we’re neglecting. For example, you have an opportunity that will lead to a larger salary. You refuse it because having more money means you can afford to go out and do things. The truth of the matter, though, is that you’ve lost touch with your closest friends, you’re socially awkward, and you will be forced to face up to your loneliness. This is an extreme example, but we are all guilty of self-sabotage to varying degrees. We think nothing of holding ourselves back in one area of life because we’re too scared to address an area being neglected.

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Single Mom Coach | Meditation Teacher | Relationship Writer | www.mindfulsinglemom.com | Newsletter: http://mindfulsinglemom.com/subscribe

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