Member-only story
Are You Asking the Wrong Question at the End of Your Dates?
It’s not about them; it’s about you
I remember coming out to my car after a date about 10 years ago. He’d seemed like a nice enough guy when we chatted before the date, but during the date he was arrogant, rude to me and our server, and offered lots of unsolicited advice on every aspect of my life. Long story short, it was not a great date. Not even a good one.
Yet as I got in my car, I asked myself the same question I always asked after a first date: I wonder if he likes me?
He was a jerk, not someone I saw even a short-term future with much less a long-term one. Yet I was wondering if he liked me. And the worst part was I was not yet in a place where I could see that I shouldn’t be asking that question.
Maybe you’re still asking that question too. Maybe you’re walking to your car at the end of a first date wondering if they like you. But it’s not the right question to ask.
Why you shouldn’t ask if they like you
First dates are generally about first impressions. Trying to get to know each other a little, feeling out who the other person is and what they’re looking for.