7 Keys to Open & Honest Communication With Your Partner

When we’re feeling happy or loving, it’s easy to express. But what about when it’s a negative feeling?

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You have the right to feel whatever you feel

Perhaps one of the biggest problems with communication is that we question our feelings. We’re hurt, angry, frustrated, or anxious and we wonder if we should be. Is it fair to feel that way? Is it right or wrong? Is it an overreaction?

Your partner also has a right to their feelings

Just as you have the right to feel whatever you feel, so does your partner. This means they can disagree with your perception of a situation. They can feel hurt that you’re angry, or angry that you’re hurt. Again, just like you, they have the right to feel whatever they feel.

Each of you is responsible for your own feelings

No one can make you feel a certain way. We often think they do. We say things like, “My boyfriend made me so mad when he didn’t call me last night,” or “My wife really hurt me when she didn’t want to come to my baseball game.”

Photo by Analise Benevides on Unsplash

You have a responsibility to be honest with your partner

When you decide to commit to a relationship, you take on a responsibility to be honest with your partner about your feelings. This responsibility applies to both good and bad feelings. You have an obligation not just to your partner, but to yourself and the relationship as a whole, to be honest and open about your feelings as they relate to the relationship.

Wait until you have control over the feelings

When we first start to feel hurt, angry, or another negative feeling, that feeling can be overwhelming. If we try to express ourselves in that moment, we might do it by screaming, yelling, crying, throwing things, or doing something else that isn’t productive and probably won’t do anything to resolve the problem.

Use specific examples, words, and phrases

If you love your partner, hurting them is generally the last thing you want to do. Telling them there’s a problem in the relationship and that we have a negative feeling toward them or the problem may very well hurt them. The desire not to hurt them can sometimes make us be vague and unclear about what’s going on.

Remember to use “I” statements

There’s a big difference in the response you’ll get when you say, “I was hurt when…” instead of “You hurt me when you…”


Single Mom Coach | Meditation Teacher | Relationship Writer | www.mindfulsinglemom.com | Newsletter: http://mindfulsinglemom.com/subscribe

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