5 Steps to Recover From Being Cheated On

Whether you stay together or not, you still need to recover

Photo by: Syda Productions

Know that recovery doesn’t always mean staying together

When I was in the thick of things with my former husband, I confused recovery with staying married. I believed that recovery meant working through it and being able to stay married — and be happily married at that. And if I left him, then there was no recovery.

Know that it takes time

I was barely 22 years old, and 39 weeks pregnant, when I found out about my ex’s affair the first time. I’m not sure if it was my youth or my pregnancy hormones or a combination of both, but I had this ridiculous idea that getting past my spouse cheating on me should only take a few days. Maybe a couple of weeks.

Photo by Eunice Lituañas on Unsplash

Figure out how you can let go without knowing all the answers

Oh, I remember so many questions in the wake of finding out my ex had cheated. How did he meet her? Where did they sleep together? How many times? Did he even consider how I would feel? Did she know about me?

Give yourself distance from your partner so they can’t influence you

After I confronted my ex about the evidence of his affair and we argued, I left our apartment. I was barefoot, 39 weeks pregnant, in denim shorts and a t-shirt, wandering the streets of our city. But then I came back home and stayed with him while I tried to figure things out.

Be honest with yourself

When I found the proof my ex had cheated, I was surprised. I don’t know why I was surprised because I had had feelings before that moment that maybe he was unfaithful. I had no proof but I had my gut feeling. And with that came the deep knowledge that our marriage wasn’t going to last.


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