5 Steps to Coming First As a Mom

Even single moms get to come first now and then

Photo by: gradyreese via Getty Images Signature

Be clear and open about your intention to put yourself first

Everyone around you is used to you putting yourself last and them first. They’ve come to expect it. So you need to be crystal clear and very open about your intention to start putting yourself first. They need to know that this change is happening.

Set some everyday minimum requirements

When you’re a mom who puts everyone else ahead of yourself, this means there are lots of simple needs that might go unmet for you. A shower, washing your hair, dishing up your dinner first, sipping a cup of coffee without rushing, or even choosing what to watch on Netflix tonight are all things you might want but don’t feel you can demand.

Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash

Let yourself feel bad

When you start turning people down and refusing to meet their needs so you can meet your own instead, you’re going to feel bad. You’re going to feel guilty, maybe embarrassed or ashamed, and you might even feel selfish. Allow yourself to feel these feelings. Don’t push them away or ignore them.

Ask for help & be specific

Sometimes the best way to put ourselves first is to ask others to help us. Asking your kids to clean up their own messes instead of adding it to your to-do list. Asking a co-worker to help you with a project so you can get done by the deadline. Asking a friend to pick up your kids from school so you can go to the doctor.

Start over when you let the ball drop

As moms, it’s so easy to say we’re going to start putting ourselves first and then slack off. A kid gets sick, an emergency happens, or other circumstances change and we need to prioritize someone or something else for a bit. When it’s over, we fall right back into old habits. Or we decide it’s just easier without the new habit.


Single Mom Coach | Meditation Teacher | Relationship Writer | www.mindfulsinglemom.com | Newsletter: http://mindfulsinglemom.com/subscribe

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