11 Tips to Feel More Comfortable On a First Date

If first dates make you nervous, these tips might settle some of those butterflies.

First dates can be exciting. Meeting someone new, the possibility of romance, and doing something fun all mingle together to make you look forward to a first date. At the same time, meeting someone new, the possibility of romance, and worrying about how you’ll come across combine to make you nervous.

Before the date

Stay healthy

There might be nothing worse on a first date than being sick. Whether it’s a cold or flu, food poisoning, or just feeling bloated from a heavy meal earlier in the day, feeling sick is going to have you at less than your best. That’s not the first impression you want to make, which will ratchet up your nerves.

Let go of unrealistic expectations

Sometimes we put way too much pressure on a first date. Before we even go on the date, we start imagining a future, complete with marriage, kids, and dying together in a nursing home in our nineties.

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Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Plan low-key fun activities

First dates shouldn’t be some big, extravagant experience. You’re figuring out if you even like each other enough to want a second date. So instead of planning expensive dinners, road trip destinations, or anything else major, keep it low-key and fun.

Make it a daytime date

There’s something about the darkness of evening that makes any date feel more romantic. For women, there’s also the potential for added anxiety about meeting a stranger in the dark and walking to and from our car in the dark. So make it a daytime date to keep things more relaxed for both of you.

Wear comfortable clothing

You might look amazing in that little black dress and those spike heels, but if you don’t feel comfortable, it doesn’t matter. Of course, I’m not suggesting you go in sweats with your hair in a bun, either.

During the date

Prep some small talk

Think about current events that have been in the news over the last few days (but skip politics or religion for now). Maybe you have some anecdotes or stories about things that happened to you today or yesterday that would be funny or interesting. Keep a running list in your mind of movies and TV shows you’ve recently watched, books you’ve read, and new music you’ve listened to.

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Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash

Focus on your date

First dates are about getting to know each other. This means there should be some back and forth questions, but your focus should be on your date.

Offer to split the bill

Whether it’s a meal or an activity, if the date costs money, offer to at least split the bill, if you don’t offer to pay the whole thing. Even if your date declines and pays, it shows that you’re not expecting them to foot the whole bill. It also eliminates the niggling worry at the back of your mind over who’s paying.

After the date

Have an exit plan

I’m not talking about the fake emergency mid-date call — although you can certainly arrange that, too. Instead, I’m referring to your plan for ending the date if all goes well.

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Photo by Hanna Postova on Unsplash

Don’t over-extend the date

You’ve had a really good time and you enjoy this person’s company. You’ve both already agreed to see each other again. It can be tempting, especially if they ask, to extend the date. If you’re enjoying the time together, why not let it continue?

Do something you enjoy after the date

After a good date, there can be a bit of a letdown as you go home and settle on the couch. So don’t do that. Instead, plan something else that you enjoy so you have more to look forward to than just your date.

Take the pressure off first dates

Most of the time, our lack of comfort on a first date comes from putting too much pressure on the date. If you take nothing else from this, take this: relax and let it unfold naturally.

Written by

Single Mom Coach | Meditation Teacher | Relationship Writer | Single Mom | www.wendy-miller.com | Newsletter: http://wendy-miller.com/subscribe

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